Deflection through provocation

Deflection through provocation 🖕
Ever had someone pour cold water on your massive effort?

They do it … not because it's true,
but because they needed you annoyed, not attentive?

Fall for their move and you lose.

It’s a sophisticated manipulation power play

• provoke by belittling your work
• you understandably react to defend, justify, argue.

And while you’re busy burning emotional energy, they quietly move the spotlight away from something they don’t want you to see.

It’s emotional misdirection - a classic, toxic, narcissistic dynamic.

Instead of getting annoyed, ask yourself:

⇥ What are they doing that’s ‘bad’
⇥ lying, betraying, underperforming, breaking an agreement
⇥ maybe multiple ‘bads’.

And watch what happens when you get close to calling it out.

They'll attack.
You'll get angry.
They'll step into the role of victim of your anger.

And the real issue disappears under a cloud of drama 👜.

Notice how they create the fire, then complain about the smoke.
Their aim is control of the narrative – and control of your emotional state.

So how do you handle it?

1/ Notice the pattern - “What conversation just got derailed?”
2/ Don’t feed the provocation - respond with calm assertiveness
3/ Bring the focus back - redirect attention back to the ‘bad’.
4/ Name the move - when it’s safe to do so.
5/ Protect your ground – offer less access, less platform, fewer openings.

The best way to handle deflection through provocation?
Refuse the emotional bait.
Return to the original point.
Take control of the narrative.

And protect your attention like it’s your most valuable asset.
Because with these dynamics, it is.