I can see why people hate meetings with a vengeance.

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘄𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴!

I can see why people hate meetings with a vengeance.

They complain about the content, but actually its the process that stinks.

I know this because facilitate meetings!

And today I’m in London ready to rock a quarterly planning meeting with a brilliant team.

Back to the issue …

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗲:

When teams self-facilitate, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗿𝘂𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄.
Especially with a chunky problem to bite into.

Those with strong opinions? They’re quick to jump in.
They dominate airtime ... often unintentionally.

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀?
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁.

Even when they’ve something valuable to add.

Let me guess. You’ve seen this too.

---

I was observing at a critical product meeting recently.
The team was mid-way through a design sprint.

Two strong characters led the discussion.
Sharp minds, solid track records, very confident.

They bounced ideas, pushed back, lobbied for their views.
This is classic advocacy mode. Push your ideas and agenda.

Meanwhile, another team member, who I know as sharp, experienced, thoughtful.
She sat silently. You could see her thinking.

She even opened her mouth a couple of times. But didn’t speak.

After the meeting, I asked her about it.
She said, “I solved a similar problem to the one the team is facing in my last role. But there just wasn’t a way in to share that.”

That’s the cost of poor facilitation.
Smart input, missed. A repeat mistake, probably about to happen.

---

The reason this happens.
𝗠𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗼𝗰𝗮𝗰𝘆.
Everyone pitching their views.
Trying to get their point across.

But you know what’s missing?

𝗜𝗻𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝘆.

Questions like:
“What’s your view?”
“Who hasn’t spoken yet?”
“Is there a risk we haven’t seen?”

Inquiry slows things down.
Enough to make space.
It invites new thinking.
Balances the room.

And 𝗶𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗻𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆.
Not in high-stakes, high-energy meetings.
That’s where the facilitator comes in.

Want to crack this?

Start by paying attention.
↳ Notice who speaks.
↳ Notice who doesn’t.
↳ Were ideas tested .. or just aired?
↳ Look for alignment ... or just going along?

𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.
𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺 ... 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗶𝗻.

You don’t need a formal facilitation role to ask a good question.
Slow things down. Make space for a voice that hasn’t been heard.

It starts with awareness.
Courage to shift the dynamic.

Meetings don’t have to run on default.
You can do something about it.